Since everyone's doing it....

10 firsts:

first girlfriend:
Antoinette Joie Concepcion...
first best friend:
Andy from St. Claire's Prep
first screen name:
Yosi
first kiss:
Kulasa.. HS.
first piercings:
Left ear, Ibay's Baguio.. then had 6 more.
first crush:
matutina. tang ina. jurassic ang tanong na to.
first drink:
isa pa. bat ba ang kulit.
first job:
corporate communications specialist
first date:
HS din. after namin tumugtog sa battle of the bands.
first word spoken:
peme ng yosi.

9 lasts:

last cigarette:
Just now.
last alchoholic beverage:
Red Horse last sat.
last movie seen:
Maverick
last phone call:
stalker ka ba?
last cd played:
Franz Ferdinand
last laugh:
before i started answering this stupid questionnaire
last time you cried:
noong binunot ung ngipin ko
last song heard:
Take me out

have you ever:

have you ever dated one of your best friends:
ayus to. oo.
have you ever skinny dipped:
you'd have to make me go on a boat first.
have you ever been on tv:
Who cares? I'd rather be behind the camera.
have you ever kissed somebody and regretted it:
nop. good track record.
have you ever had a sex dream about someone you knew:
who've u been talking to? pervert!
have you ever lost someone you loved:
don't wanna talk about it
have you ever been depressed:
right now. clinically, or so i think.
have you ever been in love:
for what is a heart if not to love? naks. kupal.

7 places you've been to for the past week:

1. Intramuros - fuckin gilding seminar
2. Dentist - fuck. again.
3. Holiday Inn - Mequeni Cafe with Tasha and friend
4. Nepo - shot!
5. Jollibee - gutom pagkatapos ng shot
6. Makro - bought tools
7. Home.

6 things you've done today:

1. Woke up with the heaviest head
2. Smoked alot
3. Wolfed down a box of pizza
4. Researched photography stuff
5. Killed a cat (it's so routine)
6. M*st*r**ted (yep. what you're thinking's probably the one)

favorite things in NO order:

1. Yosi
2. Food
3. Photography in its entirety
4. PC + NET
5. Books

4 people you can tell [almost] anything to:
1. Kuya Kris
2. Tasha
3. James
4. Jem

3 wishes:

1. To be successful in the field of studio photography and industrial design. (naks! parang resume)
2. I wish I was aware of all that I know now before I was born so that I can experience more things.
3. Tumino na buhay ko. NO MORE TOXICITIES! m fed up with all that crap.

2 things you want to do before you die:
1. live.
2. share.

1 thing you regret:
1. I regret the Philippines as a whole. haha. political.

Kaibigan.

Aah... hate to say it... I forgot about you. sorry, i've just been too busy. So much has happened this week I had to reedit this post again and again. Last week has been a blur. Seriously.


This monday, my cousin and I went to this freakin gilding seminar, I even had a goddamned toothache that was totally unbearable.

"yosilights"

I went to the dentist for some more torture (refer to the post i did entitled evil in its human form, dated oct 31) Kuya Mark visited almost daily this week to flex our photographic muscles.

"painting with light"

"x-mas balls"

"angel in the dark"

"jagerclaus"

Last wednesday, I had a quickie with tash and her friend who I somehow really can't remember but she managed to remember me; back in my more "huggable" days (thanks tash for the less harsh version of the truth). We met up at the Hilltop at the Mimosa, Clark then went straight for beers at the Mequeni cafe at Holiday Inn. Twas fun, for the fifteen minutes that it lasted.


The night before today, I was too smashed again. Pogs, Kuya Karlou, JC and I hung out at Nepo. Although the place sucked, it was better than dancing with in a freakin bar. My cousin and bro was at Sax. Thank god i didn't go because from what I heard all they got there was sheer boredom. I got so drunk I can't even feel my fingers. We almost hit a trike on our way back.


After driving JC home and eating at Jollibee (the best if you're drunk), we went to Sin's place to badger him into drinking at home. After Pogs succeeded in forcing Sin to come despite his busy sked, we went to our friendly neighborhood mini-mart. We bought a case of Red Horse, then went straight home to finish it off. My 1K was shot. This afternoon my family went to Makro to shop a bit, just when we were leaving the place, a woman was hit by a stupid jeepney driver. Isn't it wonderful why when tragic things happen everyone is excessively opinionated? Taking her picture didn't rub off as a great idea at the time. Haha. Twisted. I have to rest my head. See ya again anytime soon, if i've got the time.

Girls are Bull

While we were having a shot session with pogs, kuya karlou, and noy, my cousin blurted out that he was "seeing" someone. Her name was Charisse. She was one of those FHM models that only graced the stage once then never came back. According to him, she was coming to visit him, so he went and gave her directions. That was 10 pm. At 3:00 am, the scenario was the same, only this time, my cousin was on the verge of cussing out this woman. Apparently, her manager had her go to his rest house while on the road after a shoot in Subic. At 3:30 am she told us to meet her up at Caltex in Holy Family, since it was the only establishment in her close proximity. At about four, she insisted that we just go to her house at Marisol. We were fed up already. She was feeding him a load of bull. Tell me, why can't girls just tell people what the real situation is and stop shitting people?

Leben ist Scheiße

I'm having yet another interview with the German Embassy for the Kolnmesse in Cologne. Let's hope that i do not fuck up this time given the pressure of yet another fake administrative position bestowed upon me.

Santa's little helper

Another maid has come to our employ. She'll be out sooner than she thinks.

Odiously Visceral

Nay must I submit to thee, mine odious companion? For in thee resides the tempest. You linger free in mine will, even contention will not permit. For thou be evil. Thou art the counterfeit of humanity. You disgrace even the horrid stench of iniquity. Mercy is the decay which you dwell upon. You blind the truth with thy envy, thy discontent. You transfer the wicked unto others. You mask thyself with kindness when it is the fruit of malevolence that sears your soul. I pity you. O! I pity you. I grew amenable to your will. I detested it. You insisted. I grew weary. You supplemented. I detached. You persevered.

You implore forgiveness but you are not prepared. As soon as it is implied you shall accomplish what desecration you have always have exercised. I concede for I am not merciless yet I am in withholding. God help you. God help me.

Recipe for Wellington Crepes

3 hrs hard labor
1 very bored person who finds...
1 very old cookbook
1 pound stinkin beef that wouldn't thaw fast
1/2 a pack of marlboro lights due to the long time to cook
1 maid to help you slice and dice every ingredient
1 giant mess in the kitchen that the maid will eventually clean up for ya

The Shift

What is up with the world. People are a bitch. They're extremely stubborn, dismissive, corrupt, selfish beyond selfishness itself, fucked-up megalomaniacs, buffoons, assholes, pretentious, hypocritical and conniving idiots. Need I even say that they're the exact replica of satan himself, or even worse? Is it just me or the whole country has gone mad? Now spare me that holier that thou attitude. You know you exhibit at least one of these traits, or at least one you're willing to admit to. Nowadays one has to point a gun at another just to get someone to do the right thing. Being complacent in a land which has been corrupted beyond belief does not help either. It could just be the cause of all this chaos. Why am I lashing out? I am part of the problem. I can't take it anymore.

Buddhists believe that energies shift from person to person. By changing my personal attitude, and the way I treat other people, I am hoping to somehow change the energy of my personal social circle, need I even dare include the whole country, or even the world. The world isn't perfect, neither are we. But at least let's bring back the personal and social decency that we as a people need to have. Mad? No. Ambitious. Yes. Think about it. There's no harm in trying is there. Those dunces can mock you all they want. Don't fold. You'll realize that you know better and that it is really them that is problematic. Let go. Just be. Then you're really free.

"Be the change you want to see in the world." - Mahatma Gandhi

Seeing Double

I can now officially declare myself an alcoholic. Three times just before this week even finishes validates this statement. I still haven't slept from my drinking binge last night. Before you continue, make sure that you are not eating anything. I have this gagging sensation in my throat and it doesn't help that it tastes like puke mixed with something else... like mucous. I'm sick as a dog and still it didn't stop me from drinking red horse. Already I have colds and now, probably diarrhea. Fuck. I've been unloading crap three times since the last bottle was drained. I tried to sleep but I can't because I've got this terrible stomachache. Enough of the shit. Yesterday, prior to my drinking binge, and also leading to it, my cousin proposed that we should put up a digital workshop, including graphics artistry, video editing, and photography studio. He also suggested that we give the showroom a lofty-museum kind of look. I agreed, of course and took the nosedive to signing the subheading of the ubiquitous unwritten law. Pray for me.

I-Haul, Revised

Burgundy Westbay Towers, Unit 1610, farewell.

Not too long ago, I decided to reside in this quaint yet homey unit because it was perfect. It didn't matter that it didn't have good airflow and that something was leaking from the tubes above, causing my light bulbs to short out.



Its decadent hallway welcomes me in and leads me out of the building every single day, ushering me wherever I go.



Although my stay here was cut short due to concerns about my health, I had had wonderful and equally turbulent times here. The charades despedida for Kei, an incident involving E.R.s with desperate doctors and a disturbing stalker all made this place one of the most colorful. The thing is that this place reminds me of that "kailangan pa bang i-memorize yan" crap that you don't normally listen to but you can't get it out of your head, thanks to the association of yes fm listeners, and also the cab and jeepney drivers everywhere. I get to miss a lot about the place now that I'm leaving. I had a relaxing pool on the top floor overlooking the makati skyline that made me relax when I had a lot on my mind.



It had books, quite a number of them actually. Although I never got to read them. A guitar also made the place mellow, even though the only chord I knew when I bought it was "A".



That carbon monoxide infused air, heaven. To that whore who lives next door, who knows how to cook only one viand: tinapa, thank you for making the hallway smell like nepa-q-mart. To the dimwitted guards whom I instructed to ban a certain someone from the premises but were outwitted by that persistent stalker, you might want to retrain with your agency. The janitor who cleans up all of my cigarette butts on the hallway, sensya ka na, tao lang. To that elevator which took most of my morning schedule, fuck, ayoko rin naman pumasok e :). My window overlooks the bustling metro, its pollution and whatnot. I'll never forget it.



As the last piece of furniture was being hauled out, I sit and think about the melancholy that now covers it. The mellow atmosphere had shifted into a dull and empty space, waiting for a new tenant to bring it to life.



Farewell, 1610. I'll always remember you as my only friend when I had absolutely no one to turn to.

Coffee-based Rendezvous

My cousin was frustrated. I was frustrated. My brother, well, you guessed it. The economy was harsh and our beloved (need I say it) company's foundations are fluctuating, and the sad thing is, so are we. We've shifted from caring less of the world and more of ourselves when it eventually hit us. It was cold. Hard. Real.

We had to take action, so we went out and had coffee. It was a terrible slew of emotions. There was worry, angst, boredom, and a little bit of humor. The owner of the joint was beside us, the one which my brother mistook or identified as an alien of preference. That's beside the point. I've got to start packing my stuff out of the condo tomorrow, meaning i should be awake by 6:00 am. Now it's 2:00. fuck. I'd better get to sleep before another senseless meandering enters my mind.

Overexposing the Filipino

Photo by Dominique James.

What's wrong with this picture? Nothing, you might say. But the people who know photography sees what's been done here, whether it be right, wrong, or even designed to be aesthetically pleasing. Recently in greenbelt, they held the "Campaign for real beauty". They even held the lines "Dark, or Dazzling", "Aging or Ageless", "Flat or Flattering", and the ubiquitous "Extra-large or extra sexy". I try not to be a bigot but i think its gonna be both. A woman could be dark, but still dazzling. Naks. Making one choose between the two makes you feel a bit like a hypocrite. Back to the picture.

Everybody's seen big brother right? The two people above are both famous for being "cass" and "uma" from big brother. They don't look as good as when they're both on tv while they entertain us. In this picture, they're both overexposed. Now, why is that? It defies the conventions of being proud of your heritage. They're brown. They should be. Why are they almost unrecognizable with this picture basing it from big brother? Well, that's where "art" set in. But it is with great humiliation that with art comes lightness of the skin. When trying to apply glamour on the photos means adding exposure compensation or even artificial light in order to make it look "glamorous". This is not a personal attack on the photographer. Maybe i'm barking on the wrong tree. Maybe i should be attacking the whole environment for that matter.

Hollow-een

The halloween break has been nothing but sheer boredom. I chose not to be and made this digitally-altered picture.